jennyfast

12am: Arrive at the airport. My sister Jessie is waiting for us at the baggage claim. “Uhhhh.. haha… I hope you guys don’t mind that my heater doesn’t work. Oh or the radio. Haha…”
12:15am: Jessie’s truck is FREEEEEZING. I am glad I have gloves. Adam: “WHOA, Jess your temp gauge is insanely high. When’s the [...]

Read the rest of Why thanks, Tom Petty, I do like magic!

Just so I know I’m not the ONLY person besides my sister who is apparently weird and has a retarded sense of humor… I have a question…
If you were at a Passions Party, and you were playing an icebreaker called the Alphabet Game where you had to come up with words related to sex for [...]

Read the rest of What’s in a letter?

So… I just HAVE to post about my sassy friend Allison’s totally-new-right-this-moment-amazing-engagement!!! Her boyfriend-now-fiance proposed in MEXICO! Awesome!
I have NEVER seen her smile this big… how beautiful is she??!!??
   
   
Congratulations Cutie! Allison and and her sweetie Trevor have yet to set a date… but it will surely be an amazing day!
 
And because we’re on the [...]

Read the rest of Ahhhh… the smell of diamonds

Is one of the ways someone found my website. Huh? Seriously… these are actual queries that brought one or more people to my website:

“dirty innuendos for bubblegum”
“igallop dildo”
“job lot mini champagne bottles”
“6th grade number crunching”

When have I EVER written about ANY of these things??? WHAT is google telling people my site is ABOUT?? Should I [...]

Read the rest of “Dirty Innuendos for Bubblegum”

Ok so… if you’ve read the Twilight series and were as obsessed as I was for like a full week (or three days, or however long it took you to hungrily speed read through the four delicious books)… you need to check out Stephenie Meyers’ unfinished rough draft of Midnight Sun.
It’s a re-write of Twilight [...]

Read the rest of Even Better Soft Core Vampire Porn

I understand (kind of) that you live a lonely, deserted life with no women who care about you. This may be why you think it’s perfectly acceptable to creep random women out in public places. I’d like you to know, it’s not. It’s not acceptable to talk to women (namely, me) in airports (or restaurants, [...]

Read the rest of Dear Pervert(s),

For passengers on any airplane I am flying on.
 
RULES TO FLY (WITH JENNY) BY
1. Don’t talk on your cell phone at the top of your lungs at 7:30am while others (namely, me) are boarding/deboarding. It makes me have fantasies about your window breaking and you getting sucked out into nothingness.
 
2. Don’t chew your gum/apple/candy/cud/whatever [...]

Read the rest of Thursday Fourteen (I know, I know…)

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HURRY THE HELL UP AND FINISH THE TWILIGHT SERIES ALREADY SO I HAVE SOMEONE OTHER THAN MY CAT TO GUSH TO ABOUT DELICIOUS SOFT-CORE VAMPIRE PORN???
COME ON!!! I FINISHED ALL FOUR BOOKS IN LIKE 8 DAYS. THEY ARE THAT GOOD. 
READ. THE. BOOKS. NOW.

Read the rest of FOR F*CK’S SAKE!

 
RAD: A prom-themed party for a group of friends VERY removed from high school days (i.e., we graduated a billion years ago and now have adult lives and jobs), because it’s fun to reminisce about things that happened 10+ years ago.
RIDICULOUS: A prom-themed party for 19-22 year-old undergrad bitches who actually just miss prom. From last [...]

Read the rest of Not-so-wordless-Wednesday

The 2 newest blogs in the blogosphere:
My amazing, beautiful, strong and hilarious mom, at:
www.justjeri.com

-AND-
My amazing, beautiful, strong and hilarious close friend Sam, at:
www.samsbeachbench.com

Notice how I have a knack for surrounding myself with amazing, beautiful, strong and hilarious women… birds of a feather! :)
Now read those blogs. Every day. EVERY DAY, dammit!!
Jenny’s Mom
SamBam

Read the rest of Give them a looksie…